LawsonCL@... wrote:
> A riding buddy from Montana told me this story years ago. It seems an eastern
> tenderfoot flew out to Montana to fish and hike the wilderness. While at the
> outfitter, he pointed to a handgun in the case.
>
> "Say, that's a .44 magnum, right?"
>
> "Yep."
>
> "I hear one of those is powerful enough to stop a grizzly bear."
>
> "That's what they claim."
>
> "Well, I'd better it and a box of bullets, too."
>
> "Okay. While you're at it, you ought to get this file and jar of that
> Vaseline over there on the shelf."
>
> "Huh? Why would I want a file and Vaseline."
>
> "Well, you file down the front sight and coat the barrel with the Vaseline."
>
> "Why would I want to do that?"
>
> "So it won't hurt so much when the bear shoves that gun up your ass."
>
> Chris Lawson
> 12 ga. pump with 000 mag buckshot--to use on myself if the bear gets the
> upper hand
>
Back when I worked in the retail fireams business, we had a fellow come in
saying that he was going to the mountains and needed a gun to protect himself
from bears. The stores gunsmith, a man of rather quick-if-slightly-twisted wit,
asked him what sort of gun he had in mind:
"A 9 mm".
"A 9mm. Uh, I don't suppose you mean, like, a 9x57 Mauser, do you?"
"Huh? No, I want one of those powerful 9mm handguns, like you see in the
movies."
"Okay. How about this Beretta 92F. Fifteen round magazine, ambidexterous
hammer-drop saftey, tritium night sights, current US military issue".
"Great. How Much?"
"About $650".
"Okay. Anything else I need?"
"Well, some ammo, of course. I would recomend the 124gr. Federal Nyclads."
"Okay. Fine. Anything else?"
"Yup. When you leave here you need to go down to the drug store and buy you a
family-sized bottle of Tums or Rolaids. Keep them with you at all times,
preferably in your back pocket."
"Why?"
"Because I wouldnt want the poor bear to get indigestion after he eats your
dumb ass."
-Tom
Such are the wages of not having your sales force on comission.
