Diagnosis: "British"- (no car content)
Posted: Wed Jan 30, 2002 11:19 am
I pass this on without comment!
Best Regards,
Ray
"Remember- It's the collision with the planet that counts!"
George Farthing, an ex-patriot British man living in America, was
recently
diagnosed as clinically depressed, tanked up on anti-depressants and
scheduled for controversial Shock Therapy when doctors realised he
wasn't
depressed at all - only British.
Mr Farthing, a British man whose characteristic pessimism and gloomy
perspective were interpreted as serious clinical depression, was led on
a
nightmare journey through the American psychiatric system. Doctors
described
Farthing as suffering with Pervasive Negative Anticipation - a belief
that
everything will turn out for the worst, whether it's trains arriving
late,
England's chances at winning any international sports event or even his
own
prospects to get ahead in life and achieve his dreams. "The satisfaction
Mr
Farthing seemed to get from his pessimism seemed particularly
pathological,"
reported the doctors.
"They put me on everything - Lithium, Prozac, St John's Wort," said Mr
Farthing. "They even told me to sit in front of a big light for an hour
a
day or I'd become suicidal. I kept telling them this was all pointless
and
they said that it was exactly that sort of attitude that got me here in
the
first place."
Running out of ideas, his doctors finally resorted to a course of
"weapons
grade MDMA", the only noticable effect of which was six hours of speedy
repetitions of the phrases "mustn't grumble" and "not too bad, really".
It
was then that Mr Farthing was referred to a psychotherapist.
Dr Isaac Horney explored Mr Farthing's family history and couldn't
believe
his ears. "His story of a childhood growing up in a gray little town
where
it rained every day, treeless streets of identical houses and
passionately
backing a football team who never won seemed to be typical depressive
ideation or false memory. Mr Farthing had six months of therapy but
seemed
to mainly want to talk about the weather - how miserable and cold it was
in
winter and later how difficult and hot it was in summer. I felt he
wasn't
responding to therapy at all and so I recommended drastic action -
namely
ECT or shock treatment".
"I was all strapped down on the table and were about to put the rubber
bit
in my mouth when the psychiatric nurse picked up on my accent," said Mr
Farthing. "I remember her saying 'Oh my God, I think we're making a
terrible
mistake'." Nurse Alice Sheen was a big fan of British comedy giving her
an
understanding of the English psyche. "Classic comedy characters like
Tony
Hancock, Albert Steptoe and Frank Spencer are all hopeless cases with no
chance of ever doing well or escaping their circumstances," she
explained to
the baffled US medics. "That's funny in England and is not seen as
pathological at all."
Identifying Mr Farthing as English changed his diagnosis from 'clinical
depression' to 'rather quaint and charming' and he was immediately
discharged from hospital, with a selection of brightly coloured leaflets
and
an "I love New York" T-shirt.