Page 1 of 2
profiling (very) nklr
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2002 9:57 am
by ATO137528@aol.com
I use profiling all of the time when riding OR driving and am seldom wrong in
my predictions...as you were not. It's also my opinion that being a
motorcycle rider teaches extreme defensiveness on the road, which is also in
place when driving an automobile (ie cage). Sitting high in the saddle and
being very mobile, I can see into all the other cars/SUV's on the road and am
constantly amazed at what I see people doing BESIDES driving in bumper to
bumper commute traffic. No damn wonder there are so many wrecks! Here's
some of my offensive, but usually correct, assumptions about vehicles I
encounter on the road. (Gino covered 4x4's) Feel free to add any of your
own...I need to be alert to them too.
Mini van: Large woman in left most lane driving 10 mph below the speed limit
leaving 15 car lenghts between herself and the car in front of her for every
10 mph of ground speed. Usually on phone or reading a book.
LARGE SUV: Small woman completely oblivious to her surrondings. ALWAYS on
phone and using other hand to smoke. Driving with left knee and has no
inclination to check a mirror or blind spot before changing lanes. Also runs
red lights and sits at green lights. Do NOT get between her and the mall.
Has a Harley Davidson sticker on the rear window.
V-6 Camaro/Friebird or Eclipse: Young woman applying make-up with one hand,
smoking with the other, and on phone with third. Rear view mirror serves
only as a place to hang shit like lei's, bandanas, and graduation tassles
that creates blind spot in FRONT of car. Completely inattentive and
absolutely unpredictable. Plethora of bumper stickers alert you as to with
whom you are dealing ("Princess", "Bitch", NASCAR, Grateful Dead teddy bears,
musical tastes, et cetra) Usually some minor body damage (uninsured). Give
her a wide berth.
Anything with a NASCAR sticker of any type: Aggressive, yet unskilled driver
in a poorly maintained vehicle. The more/larger the decals, the worse the
driver. 2x this if it is an Earnhart sitcker. 3x it if it's a female.
(She's probably day dreaming about the time she got Jeff Gordon or Dale Jr.
to sign her boob at Talledega last year.)
Any Buick: AARP driver whose speed is inversely related to traffic
congestion. Left lane, usually. One advantage is that they move so slowly
that you don't have to anticipate the right turn from the left lane. Just
don't be behind them if you plan on arriving somewhere on time. 2x this if
Buick has a handicapped tag.
Customized Van: (see Any Buick)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
profiling (very) nklr
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2002 10:14 am
by Cloyce D. Spradling
On Wed, Feb 27, 2002 at 10:57:20AM -0500, ATO137528@... wrote:
: Anything with a NASCAR sticker of any type: Aggressive, yet unskilled driver
: in a poorly maintained vehicle. The more/larger the decals, the worse the
: driver. 2x this if it is an Earnhart sitcker.
What's the multiplier if it's one of those 'Intimidator'-trim Monte Carlo's?
(Dale Sr.'s signature RIGHT ON THE SIDE OF THE CAR!!)
(No joke! I saw one, but I can't find it on Chevy's website...)
--
Cloyce
A13 in Austin
profiling (very) nklr
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2002 10:25 am
by Mark St.Hilaire, Sr
> What's the multiplier if it's one of those 'Intimidator'-trim Monte
Carlo's?
(Grinning), or the smaller Jeep pickup with the Eliminator package? I
wouldn't mind being scared a bit, but to be eliminated... no thanks!
Wise men still seek Him...
Mark St.Hilaire, Sr
A15
My Adelphia Email can be "iffy." If
you don't get a response, please try:
KLR6500@...
HomePage:
http://home.adelphia.net/~msaint/index.html
KLR650 Motorcycle Pages:
http://klr6500.tripod.com/
profiling (very) nklr
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2002 10:41 am
by Zachariah Mully
On Wed, 2002-02-27 at 10:57, ATO137528@... wrote:
> I use profiling all of the time when riding OR driving and am seldom wrong in
HAHHA! Great post. You forgot one (they might not be a native species in
TX):
The Rice Boy:
Usually a pimply white suburban teenager, whose parents were kind
enough to buy them a reliable, economic Honda Civic/Toyota
Corolla/Hyundai something so's they'd have a means to get around. What
the parents didn't know, was that their son would spend all his money
replacing the turnsignals with clear units (2% hp gain!), adding a large
spoiler on the trunk (10% hp gain!), cutting the springs down in shop
class (12% hp gain!), pasting it with Japanese stickers (15% hp gain!),
tearing off the Honda "V-tec" emblem of an Accord at the mall and
slapping on to their 1.4L 4-banger Civic (25% hp gain!).
Plays music so loud that one can't anything when standing within a 25ft
radius of the car, and with speakers that are clearly blown out by
excessive playing of Tupac Shakur CDs. Seat is pushed all the back and
down, so that they can barely see over the wheel. Usually accompanied by
a bubble-gum chewing pre-pubscent girl sitting cross legged and leaning
back against the passenger door.
They will drag race you at every light, not understanding the concept
of power/weight ratios. Will make sucide 5 lane cross overs going into a
curve. Will swerve dangerously to avoid small potholes that could dent
their 18" alloys. Will NOT look any direction but straight forward.
Japanese stickers and rear spoiler block all rear views. Female
passenger often seen giving "road-h**d"
Z
SE DC
profiling (very) nklr
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2002 11:13 am
by gpokluda
--- In DSN_klr650@y..., Zachariah Mully wrote:
> HAHHA! Great post. You forgot one (they might not be a native
species in
> TX):
> The Rice Boy:
> Usually a pimply white suburban teenager, whose parents were
kind
> enough to buy them a reliable, economic Honda Civic/Toyota
> Corolla/Hyundai something so's they'd have a means to get around.
What
> the parents didn't know, was that their son would spend all his
money
> replacing the turnsignals with clear units (2% hp gain!), adding a
large
> spoiler on the trunk (10% hp gain!), cutting the springs down in
shop
> class (12% hp gain!), pasting it with Japanese stickers (15% hp
gain!),
> tearing off the Honda "V-tec" emblem of an Accord at the mall and
> slapping on to their 1.4L 4-banger Civic (25% hp gain!).
> Plays music so loud that one can't anything when standing
within a 25ft
> radius of the car, and with speakers that are clearly blown out by
> excessive playing of Tupac Shakur CDs. Seat is pushed all the back
and
> down, so that they can barely see over the wheel. Usually
accompanied by
> a bubble-gum chewing pre-pubscent girl sitting cross legged and
leaning
> back against the passenger door.
> They will drag race you at every light, not understanding the
concept
> of power/weight ratios. Will make sucide 5 lane cross overs going
into a
> curve. Will swerve dangerously to avoid small potholes that could
dent
> their 18" alloys. Will NOT look any direction but straight forward.
> Japanese stickers and rear spoiler block all rear views. Female
> passenger often seen giving "road-h**d"
>
> Z
> SE DC
Believe it or not, I've found these drivers to actually be predictable
and pretty good...during daylight hours. When the stars come out
-especially on Friday nights- God help anyone that is in there way.
Gino
profiling (very) nklr
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2002 2:03 pm
by Stuart Mumford
> I use profiling all of the time when riding OR driving and am
> seldom wrong in
> my predictions..
snip
Anything with a religious bumper sticker.
Figure "why pay attention, God is driving".
Have empirical proof.
CA Stu
profiling (very) nklr
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2002 2:07 pm
by dale_johnson13
--- In DSN_klr650@y..., "Stuart Mumford" wrote:
> > I use profiling all of the time when riding OR driving and am
> > seldom wrong in
> > my predictions..
> snip
>
> Anything with a religious bumper sticker.
> Figure "why pay attention, God is driving".
>
> Have empirical proof.
>
> CA Stu
Hey Stu, do you have a NASCAR sticker on your big Dodge diesel?
Dale
profiling (very) nklr
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2002 2:43 pm
by s2mumford
--- In DSN_klr650@y..., "dale_johnson13" wrote:
> --- In DSN_klr650@y..., "Stuart Mumford" wrote:
> > > I use profiling all of the time when riding OR driving and am
> > > seldom wrong in
> > > my predictions..
> > snip
> >
> > Anything with a religious bumper sticker.
> > Figure "why pay attention, God is driving".
> >
> > Have empirical proof.
> >
> > CA Stu
>
> Hey Stu, do you have a NASCAR sticker on your big Dodge diesel?
>
>
> Dale
Yup, it says "Nuck FASCAR".
Now I'm off to paint it red and black for Gino's benefit. (it's white)
Stu
profiling (very) nklr
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2002 2:52 pm
by mmcmu11en
If you can profile "bad" cars, you most likely can profile "good"
ones. The trick to being noticed even though you're invisible is to
tag along side the "good" car thru places like intersections. Let
them get noticed. I try to be on the opposite side of the left turner
if I can so as not to get sandwiched. I also ride in the pack of
cars, not behind it or ahead of it. Its a weird concept I know, but
it has saved me a few times. Like those little fishes tagging along
with the sharks. They rarely get eaten!
Mark
A12
profiling (very) nklr
Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2002 3:00 pm
by gpokluda
--- In DSN_klr650@y..., "mmcmu11en" wrote:
> If you can profile "bad" cars, you most likely can profile "good"
> ones. The trick to being noticed even though you're invisible is to
> tag along side the "good" car thru places like intersections.
Yes.. that's called Carma. If you are in Mexico, it's called Carmex.
Gino