[dsn_klr650] outfitting and bears.
Posted: Fri May 26, 2000 11:04 pm
LawsonCL@... wrote:

Back when I worked in the retail fireams business, we had a fellow come in saying that he was going to the mountains and needed a gun to protect himself from bears. The stores gunsmith, a man of rather quick-if-slightly-twisted wit, asked him what sort of gun he had in mind: "A 9 mm". "A 9mm. Uh, I don't suppose you mean, like, a 9x57 Mauser, do you?" "Huh? No, I want one of those powerful 9mm handguns, like you see in the movies." "Okay. How about this Beretta 92F. Fifteen round magazine, ambidexterous hammer-drop saftey, tritium night sights, current US military issue". "Great. How Much?" "About $650". "Okay. Anything else I need?" "Well, some ammo, of course. I would recomend the 124gr. Federal Nyclads." "Okay. Fine. Anything else?" "Yup. When you leave here you need to go down to the drug store and buy you a family-sized bottle of Tums or Rolaids. Keep them with you at all times, preferably in your back pocket." "Why?" "Because I wouldnt want the poor bear to get indigestion after he eats your dumb ass." -Tom Such are the wages of not having your sales force on comission.> A riding buddy from Montana told me this story years ago. It seems an eastern > tenderfoot flew out to Montana to fish and hike the wilderness. While at the > outfitter, he pointed to a handgun in the case. > > "Say, that's a .44 magnum, right?" > > "Yep." > > "I hear one of those is powerful enough to stop a grizzly bear." > > "That's what they claim." > > "Well, I'd better it and a box of bullets, too." > > "Okay. While you're at it, you ought to get this file and jar of that > Vaseline over there on the shelf." > > "Huh? Why would I want a file and Vaseline." > > "Well, you file down the front sight and coat the barrel with the Vaseline." > > "Why would I want to do that?" > > "So it won't hurt so much when the bear shoves that gun up your ass." > > Chris Lawson > 12 ga. pump with 000 mag buckshot--to use on myself if the bear gets the > upper hand >
