nklr story on moab from mr dune

[rusig1@aol.com]

Interesting story from the off-road.com site I thought I would share. Dave Pulling into the beautiful town of Moab, Utah, I was moved by the incredible red sandstone formations and natural vistas that surround this antique village nestled on the Colorado River. Sent here to cover what may be biggest off road gathering next to a major holiday at Glamis, The Moab Easter Jeep Safari draws an estimated 50,000 plus four wheel drive enthusiasts. I was eager to see what fun and games my rock crawling bretheren might cook up to amuse and entertain a crusty old desert rat. As we drove through town I noticed many Jeeps carried the same sticker... "It's a Jeep thing. You wouldn't understand." Well after a week patrolling the streets and trails of Moab, I'm sad to say, "I do." Glamis hardly has a exclusive on idiots. In fact I'll go one further and say that Moab may even be the center of their universe. Now before you rock crawlers reach for your guns to silence my blasphemy. I'ts a given that most of your are good folk. And my experiences comprise only a slice of what goes on. But I saw some things and some behaviors that really disturbed me... The town seemed populated by mostly burned out, macrame braiding, tie dyed rejects from a Grateful Dead concert. ALL the waiters we had, went out of their way to voice disdain over off roaders coming to Moab and destroying the fragile habitats. Eco-issues aside, I assume they must be mentally deficient, they blew their tip and it's clear that 90% of the communities income comes from off roaders. Which side of my bread gets the butter? The town has an uncomfortable us vs. them feeling. There is a self indulgent, name brand, cliquish rivalry that can be unpleasant, even at times physical. Much like what has happened in street motorcycling with the Harley wannabe's vs. everything else with two wheels attitude. I remember when I was a teenager and tooling down the road on my Kawasaki H1, you passed a bike, you gave the sign. Didn't matter who or what, they gave the sign back. Nowadays if you aren't on the "same" kind of bike you'll more than likely be fingered. So much for the brotherhood of two wheels and the open road. That same attitude is here. "I'm better than you are because I have a ....." I overheard some pretty foul mouthed comments and insults being hurled about. Much more than a little good natured teasing. With all the money and chrome at Glamis I've never seen posers like these guys at Moab. Bad manners too... Stupid stuff I saw, that even Glamis Rats wouldn't do: A $50,000 vintage Bronco disco truck that had never seen dirt with a line lock (line lock? huh? Isn't that for Bracket Racers?) boiling his back tires to mush in a bar parking lot. A squadron of Chevy "disco" trucks with at least 15 chrome shocks per wheel circle track racing around the Denny's Resturant, through the crowded parking lot and onto the highway, back into the lot... Round and round they went, 44" Gumbo Mudders barking, beer cans flying, stereos blasting Bocephus at full volume. Thank God there were no road signs to shoot. A lunatic too drunk to stand attack a 5+ obstacle, upon flipping on his roof, he floored his motor until it choked on it's own oil and died. At which time (still upside down) he started it AGAIN and with all four wheels clawing at the sky attempted to go... well straight to hell I can only assume. That was the direction his truck was pointed. After being flipped over he got out followed by a cascade of dozens of beer cans, fell down and, well it just gets worse... (A footnote: Thankfully he was promptly arrested for DUI by the County Sheriff upon his return to the pavement.) Then of course no ever will get out of the way of faster traffic, let anyone else by, or admit defeat on an obstacle until every inch of their sheetmetal is crumpled and their drive train has been reduced to loose bits and flapping shafts spinning in the air like the severed limbs in a Chainsaw Massacre movie. At that point it takes 4 hours to drag them off the rocks and tow them home with... You guessed it, dozens of other vehicles wadded up behind them in a traffic jam that rivals the 405 Freeway at 8am on a Monday morning. Most of the trails are two tracks at best and impossible to pass on. In the desert when overtaken by faster vehicles, you pull to the side and let them pass. Not so if you are a Moabian. Here I saw repeated and intentional examples of rude and discourteous driving. Slow moving disabled, towing/towed vehicles that REFUSED to yield. Even a group that stopped in a two track canyon and had lunch for 45 minutes leaving dozens of vehicles stuck behind them. Had this group advanced another 200 feet there was an area large enough for them all to pull off the trail and let traffic pass. These are the same Jeep people that raised hell a couple months back saying our Rental Car In The Dunes story would ruin off roading. I wish I knew then, what I know now. They need to thank their pagen god Willy of Overland that The Dunester was not behind the wheel on this foray into the mundane, lest they experience the time honored desert art of the high speed NERF! I will return to Moab... And soon... And when you creeping Jeepers hear the wail of 600 plus horsepower and a 150db air horn. And upon looking in your rear view mirror see nothing but 40 inches of travel and 1.75" thickwall tubular chromemoly nerfage, with one wheel on the ground, spitting dirt and fire, closing at 90 plus feet per second... You better put down your tuna sandwich and get your positraction, gear reducted, air locking ass off MY trail, because you're about to be skewered by a 4500lb Pro Truck... and become my lunch. It's a desert racer thing, you just wouldn't understand... Well, some crawl over rocks and it seems many prefer to crawl out from beneath them... That's all the ink that's worth, I'm headed back to the Dunes! Mr.Dune ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ -- A note from the Editor This is my forum, not yours! If you don't like my views or opinions, then get a life!... E-mail Mr Dune at: mrdune@... for instructions on finding a life. Please be