rr: this sunday's ride (long)

[Zachariah Mully]

loosely based on the book "Why Maryland Sucks" A fellow lister/lurker, Robb, and I met up this past Sunday to do some DS riding together. He is the proud owner of a Y2K KLR and I of a 1991 KLR. We set out about 8 am heading towards Mt. Airy,MD and Rt. 27 where my ex-roomate had told me he had found tons of dirt roads. I probably shouldn't have trusted him as he rode a CBR600RR, so "tons of dirt" meant the shoulders were sandy. Within 10-20 minutes of starting we were pulled over by one of Howard County's finest rolling donut repositories... We had been tagged doing 50-55 in a 45 or 40 (I can't remember, but it was stupid), so he had stopped us and given us written warnings because "there are a lot of deer out here and farm equipment pulling into the road and you shouldn't be going that fast ....." Robb and I couldn't believe the gall of this copper. He pulls over two riders on what are visibly large dirt bike, one wearing a Hi-Viz Darien, MX helmet, goggles, gloves and MX boots, and the other wearing a one-piece Roadcrafter, FF helmet, gloves and heavy leather boots. Yeah, we were looking to get hurt, especially because we were traveling at speeds in excess of 50 mph. So the cop gets to give us warnings, and he gets to bag two motorcycles for the weekly dozen donuts giveaway at the local precinct for the most number of law-abiding motorcyclists harassed. All thanks to Maryland's new "tough on motorcycles" PR stunt. That was reason one... Next was the fact that Maryland doesn't seem to likely anything vaguely reminiscent of a forest. Yeah, we saw a couple of those old-fashioned forests, but they were atop mountains. I am convinced the road to hell is paved and Maryland is trying to get there first. So we rode and rode and rode on tons of two lane, relatively straight country highways. It was nice, but we were looking for something more interesting than pavement. After having been thwarted trying to get into a cement quarry, we spotted some powerlines. And being from MA and NY, we both knew that where there are powerlines there are trails. When we arrived at the base of said powerlines, I think both of us realized that the real world ceased to exist a long time ago in Maryland. These power lines had no access trail or road... In fact most of them had houses built directly underneath them (yes dear, I think that lump on your head is getting bigger!). How do they fix these things when they break? Have a couple of guys hoof new 250 lbs insulators up a 45 degree slope? Over and across someone's house and property? Eventually we did find a set of powerlines west of Catocin Mountain State Park... There was an old access trail we took which was littered with very large rocks and nice mud. As we discovered, Robb was a pro at digging ditches with his OEM Dunlop rear. The tire didn't shed mud at _all_... Several times as we were both pushing and pulling on his bike, the rear tire looked like a road racing slick. I was lucky as I am tall enough to stand over the bike and let it power itself through the mud. Eventually we could go any further, so we took a Jeep trail that lead off the side of the power lines ending up in a farmers yard. After politely introducing ourselves to the lawn-mowing farmer and asking for passage across his land, we sallied forth once again onto the pavement. Eventually we found another set of powerlines with a nice grassy trail alongside it. Never ones to think "hey that hill looks pretty steep", we set out up this slope. Now I have never ridden off road and Robb had been an MX racer, but neither of us expected the hill to get so steep so quickly. In fact, the top was vertical (and we got within about 60ft of the top) and our street shod KLRs quickly became 350 lbs of mass that had a very strong attraction to the bottom of the hill. I saw Robb (who was leading) hit the vertical section of the hill and basically lose all forward momentum, then dump his bike down hill (rubber up, shiny side down is not good) and he slid about 15-20ft down the slope. I decided it was time for me to cut my losses and bail before that happened to me, but at that exact moment, my bike decided it would follow Robb's bike's lead and it dumped me down the hill. Needless to say, we both had to help each other get our bikes back up and it took several more dumps before we had them properly aligned. That is: rubber side down, front wheel pointing downhill. Once we discovered this, it was only then that we realized that grass and street tires don't mix. As Robb lead the way down, I could see his rear wheel locked and his bike still moving down hill. So I did my best impression of ABS and hoped for the best. Later that day on the shores of the Potomac, we found yet another powerline trail, but this one was a perfect end to a great day. It was a rolling trail through wildflowers and low non-thorny brush and only had one muddy spot, and could easily be driven at 15+ mph. Upon returning to the road and discussing our next move (returning home) Robbs bike began to protest. Just before we heard complaints from his bike, he had shut his off because it was getting really hot. Well it turns out that the bent radiator frame that we had spotted after the hill climb had prevented the fan blade from spinning and so we ended up with one melted fan blade. As soon as we saw this we desperately tried to get the electrical system disconnected, but the removal of the panels and seat took too long. So after disconnecting the fan we reassembled the bike (R:"hey the tank is kinda loose" Z:"I bet the shrouds stiffen it up" R:"Hey look at this rubber mount on the ground" Z:"Oh, here is one on top of the engine" R+Z:"DOH!"). Moral: should you do anything to your radiator, check your fan clearance as the fan mounts are integral to the radiator frame. Anyhow, an excellent day, 350+ miles and a little over 8 hours of riding. Sorry for the length, but I had to tell someone about it (my girlfriend got the half-asleep version: "yeah, it was funnn...." (snore)) Zack 1991 KLR